Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Total Absence of the Dowry Menace in Northeast India

The Total Absence of the Dowry Menace in Northeast India Dr.Athiqul H. Laskar India has been plagued with the menace of dowry since time immemorial. What is most disturbing is that even after so much effort and attempt to create awareness against it we have not been able to eradicate this evil from our society. It is still rampant all over India and we keep hearing about dowry deaths every now and then from newspapers, television channels and other media of communication. However, this dismal picture is in stark contrast to the one prevalent in Northeast India. Quite surprisingly, the concept of dowry is virtually absent in this part of the country thereby setting an example for the rest to follow. Northeast India has never been counted as one of the most developed regions of the country. Rather, it has always been accused of lagging behind especially in terms of improvement and development. However, the northeast region has clearly left everyone behind in this one aspect. At a time when cases of dowry tortures and murders are a common reality all over India, the northeast is the sole region which is devoid of this malady. This is quite inspirational and motivating. How Does the Dowry System Work in the Northeast states: The northeast people are anyways known to be very hospitable and gentle. Their tenderness and amiability are also reflected in the total absence of social and cultural evils like sati, dowry, caste conflicts and communal riots in their region. The custom that is followed in the northeast states such as Assam is very different from what is the norm elsewhere. Here, it is the groom’s parents that send bridal dress, cosmetics and ornaments to the bride on the occasion of marriage. Now compare this with the custom prevalent in other states. There, not only do the bride’s parents have to arrange for everything from bridal costume to jewellery with their own money but also make sure they are of a certain standard in order to maintain status symbol and prevent their daughter from being harassed by her new in-laws. The best thing about northeast marriages is that the bride’s father is completely free to give his daughter what he wants. That means if a family is not financially capable of gifting anything to their daughter at the time of marriage it is perfectly acceptable. There won’t be any criticism or backlash because of it. In the northeast, the wedding reception is arranged separately by both sides at their own cost. What is more, at times, one side also provides financial assistance to the other as a show of oneness. However, unlike the rest of India, such monetary help is not one-sided and only given by the bride’s side. There are ample cases when the groom’s family helps with the wedding expenses of the bride’s happily and willingly. The northeast people have a completely new approach towards dowry. They equate it with bribe which is given when the bride is inferior to the groom. Thus if a father gives dowry for her daughter, it implies that he is accepting the fact that her daughter is indeed inferior to the boy. Now, it is a given that no father would accept such a condescending fact. This attitude has been highly instrumental in keeping the evil custom of dowry away from the land of the northeast. One of the prominent reasons for the lack of dowry demands in states like Meghalaya, Assam and Manipur is that women there enjoy much less gender discrimination and greater mobility. Brides’ parents are not forced to give costly gifts at the time of marriage. Moreover, they do not view marriage as an occasion to display one’s superiority and affluence. Naturally, dowry and other such evils take a backseat. A closer look at the innumerable cases of dowry death and harassment reported in newspapers and the like will reveal the fact that not one of them is from the northeast region. This is because they do not allow any kind of exchange of gifts from the beginning in a solemn affair like marriage. This eliminates any room for further demands and expectations and that is why cases of violence and torture do not take place in the northeast states. If the rest of India can follow this custom, the country can become a good place to live in especially for new bridegrooms and their families.

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